*NOTE: If you are someone who takes yourself or life in general too seriously, you probably don’t want to read this. If you can laugh at the little things in life, then enjoy!
Last night as my wife and I gathered with our children for family Bible reading before bed, we read Proverbs chapter five (5) to them and discussed it’s content. You may ask “why did you choose that passage?” The answer is that I am making it our goal to read through Proverbs this month as a family by reading a chapter per day out loud and discussing the wisdom of Proverbs with our children. After all, no book is more practical or more needed today than Proverbs.
And so we read chapter five. Now, chapter five of Proverbs is a discourse on the wisdom of marital faithfulness, which leads to life and blessing, as opposed to the folly of infidelity of any sort. I think this is a very relevant passage for a number of reasons. First of all, kids today need to understand the beauty of covenantal relationships as God intended them and the way in which they point us to the gospel (Eph 5:25). They need to learn from their parents and pastors about God’s plan for relationships and understand sexuality in the context of marital relationships. They are certainly not going to hear this message from the culture?@#! And so as I read the passage and explained the idea of infidelity in all its forms (i.e. marital unfaithfulness, pornography, lust, emotional infidelity, etc…) my kids were surprisingly attentive, even though they are only seven and ten years old (the babies were in bed by this time!). They asked questions about marriage, divorce, adultery, and even what it meant for sin to lead to death. It was a great teaching opportunity.
It got a little sticky for me however, to try to skate around the obvious issue of sex in the passage. Instead of being graphic, I spoke to the kids about “kissing” and “mommy and daddy smooching” and used other colorful terminology to substitute for sex without being too graphic with my kids. The time will come to drop the cutesy terms and be blunt, but its just not yet. As I read on and explained more, there were a couple of responses from my kids that were just pure gold.
When I read verse 15, (Drink water from your own cistern…) I paused and asked my kids in a puzzled tone just what that meant. I never dreamed that they would have a clue, but my 7-year-old son responded without missing a beat, “I think that means that you should be happy with the girl God gave you dad.” How incredibly perceptive is that for a young boy who had NOT been coached in the answer?! I hope he remembers that when he grows in to a young man!
Then, when I approached Proverbs 5:19, I faced a problem. The verse reads, “Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight,” but I just could not bring myself to explaining that to my mixed audience of children. As I paused momentarily to think of a substitute word (I settled upon “Let her hugs and kisses fill you at all times…) my wife snickered softly, sensing my clear discomfort and awkward hesitation and knowing the verse well. My ten-year-old daughter then bursts out of her seat and, like a hyena perfectly sensing its prey’s weakness, comes at me insisting, “that’s not what it says dad, come on, tell us what it really says.” It was a moment of laughter and fun as we playfully wrestled and I diligently sought to maintain some level of innocence by keeping the Bible from her and “hiding” the real word used! But we eventually continued in our study together and I was left to reflect upon some lessons that I had been taught about family devotions.
#1- God’s Word is relevant to the needs of every generation. It is not outdated, outmoded, or out-of-touch as some insist. In a day when many in the church feel that they need to move to “something else” to give kids what they need, I say that a return to the relevant Word of God is what is needed. When exegeted properly and diligently mined for nuggets of truth, the Bible addresses clearly and truthfully all areas of life from God’s perspective. I would much prefer for my kids to learn about human relationships and sexuality from God’s Word than from MTV, Oprah, or from the public education system.
#2- God’s Word is powerful when unleashed. All I had to do was read it to my children and facilitate instruction and they were able to grasp its truths by the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
#3- We need a return to more Bible reading in our homes. Most adults today are not even aware of what rich truths the Bible contains because they have simply never read it. How much less today’s children, who seldom know more than what they have learned from a singing vegetable! (Before anyone complains, I LOVE the singing vegetables… but they should not be the sole source of children’s knowledge of the Scriptures!)
#4- Sometimes presenting the totality of God’s Word can become awkward or uncomfortable, especially with our children, but with a little common sense, the truths of Scripture can be conveyed without too much embarrassment or discomfort. There is no question that in our culture, our children are going to be exposed to issues like violence, war, murder, sexuality, adultery, etc… In fact, they see it every day on the news and in popular media. I firmly believe that parents can use the Word of God to give their children right moral and ethical views on these and other subjects according to what God has revealed about them. This can and must be handled with sensitivity and common sense, but navigating the difficult course between truthfulness and embarrassment is possible with a little practice and common sense. I guess what I am saying is, don’t avoid the “hard passages” of the Bible with your children, but rather, approach them truthfully with much prayer and concern for your child’s moral and spiritual development.
**On a lighter note though, a list of passages you may want to save until your kids are older might include Genesis 9:18-27, Leviticus 15, Judges 19, 2 Kings 6:24-31 (Lam 4:10), and the entire book of Song of Songs! It’s hard enough to explain circumcision to your kids or to tell them why David danced naked before the Lord (II Samuel 6) without having to make things too complicated! Stick to the “fun stories” that kids (especially little boys) love hearing, such as the story of fat king Eglon (Jud 3), or Jael and her tent-stake (Jud 4), or Absalom’s hair-problem (2 Sam 18), six-fingered giants (1 Chron 20) or even Ezekiel’s fuel dilemma (Ezek 4:9-17)! Last year, we bought my son a comic-book style adaptation of selected Bible stories called “Weird and Gross Bible Stuff,” and amazingly, he couldn’t put the book down! He read it diligently and asked many questions about the content of the Bible. Incidentally, there is a whole series of these books for children published by Zonderkidz, including one titled “Seriously Sick Bible Stuff” and “Bible Wars and Weapons.”
#5- Sharing the Word of God with your children can be fun, exciting, and memorable. It does not have to be some negatively stereotyped “boring quiet time” that your kids dread. My kids laughed, interacted, and even asked for applications of the text as we discussed this difficult text. I’m willing to betcha’ that they will remember for a long time to come the core teachings of this text.
#6- Be patient with kids as they learn the ropes of spiritual truths. One last anecdote. Because we had spent yesterday evening volunteering at a local homeless shelter, my kids had asked lots of questions about homelessness, poverty, and a Christian’s concern for these issues. I explained as best as I could the plight of the homeless and why we should be motivated by the love of Christ to help our fellow man not only with physical comfort, but also with gospel-centered concern. As we closed out our evening with family prayer, my son prayed just as seriously as he possibly could (no denigration intended), “Lord, help the homeless people of our city to find a nice cozy dumpster to sleep in tonight…” My daughter began cracking up and my son didn’t understand the problem. I worked through the chuckles to explain to my son a better prayer to offer and he then finished. Kids have to grow in their understanding of how to live the Christian life, but shame on us parents if we don’t teach them diligently and then give them the room they need to make mistakes and learn by trial and error.
As my son demonstrated with his response, they really are picking up a lot more than we give them credit for!
It was one of the best nights of family devotion in my recent memory. I can’t wait to find out what we discover tonight in Proverbs six… and neither can my kids.
Oh, and by the way… I never did tell my daughter what the real word was in 5:19! I know she can find out for herself if she chooses to and nothing I can do will change that…but as I said, there is a time and place for everything. For now, she just knows that I am satisfied with her mommy’s “hugs and smooches!” And she is a happier child for it!
