Grieving mothers and the need for the church to provide answers…

Recently, due to a tragic event in our community, I and my wife felt impressed by the Spirit of God to offer a unique study to many of the ladies in our church and community.  A young couple who I know was expecting their first child.  This is a wonderful young Christian couple.  They are happily married and financially secure.  Only a few weeks away from the birth of their first child, tragically the child died in the womb.  There are couples in our church who know this couple very well and as I talked with them, they had no clue how to minister to this couple or what to say.  I attempted to reach out to them, but found it more effective under the circumstances to simply pass on to them a copy of John MacArthur’s Safe in the Arms of God.  This book deals scripturally and practically with the issue of child-loss in a very sensitive, biblical and thorough way.  As I re-read the book myself and then passed it on to my wife, we felt the need to have a study in which we attempted to equip members of our church to minister in the midst of this kind of crisis by knowing what to say (biblically) and how to say it (practically).  The result was a 3-4 week study that we began last week and continued Tuesday night.  Only about half of the women present were from our church.  The rest were from other churches who had heard that we were having this discussion group and wanted to come.   

To say that the class has been a success would be an understatement.  The first night, we had 10 ladies come to the discussion.  I listened as no fewer than 4 of those women present shared how they had themselves been through either a miscarriage or the loss of an infant.  It was very emotional and very needed.  Every woman in the room (I was the only man), each touched by this tragedy in some way or another, echoed the same sentiment over and over again.  Namely, that they had never heard this issue addressed from a Christian perspective.  Thus, they each shared that they knew not what to say in such a situation, and they didn’t know at all what the Bible really taught about the death of a child.  

Since the first night, I have had two older women in our church approach me and tell me that they were very thankful we were doing this study.  One was a grandmother who had been through a terrible ordeal in which her daughter gave birth to a child with health problems who suffered for about 3 years before dying.  Another older woman told me last week about her ordeal over 40 years ago in which she and her husband lost a 3 year old child to a sickness which the child was born with.  Both women echoed the sentiment that they had never really heard this issue addressed from a biblical or pastoral perspective, and they were both grateful that we were attempting to provide answers to hurting women.  

This ordeal brought to my attention the great need for the church to be equipped to deal with issues of life and death relating to children, miscarriage and barrenness.  Though I have been primarily teaching over the last 2 weeks, I have also been listening a lot to the women who have poured out their hearts about very emotional issues which they have never heard addressed from a biblical issue.  We have talked about childlessness, abortion, child-loss, barrenness, adoption, handicapped children, children born with sickness and the emotional depression surrounding these and other related issues.  I have learned more and more how these issues affect not only the women involved, but their husbands, children and extended families.  I have also learned that in these times of crises, having the right answers can be the difference between someone pulling close to God or turning away from Him completely. 

It has been such a blessing for everyone involved to know that the Bible does indeed address such issues.  MacArthur’s book (which I affirm and highly recommend on the subject) has given us biblical and theological answers to tough questions.  Most of all though, it has been a blessing for all involved to finally talk about such sensitive issues in a spiritually-affirming environment.

If we really believe that biblical Christianity is the correct worldview, then we must be prepared to answer every issue from a biblical perspective.  It has been eye-opening for me to hear from so many that these issues have been looked upon as “taboo” for so long.  Christians often attempt to offer comfort in the midst of these crises, but seldom have a fully-developed scriptural response to the difficult questions.  This study has helped us to discover that the Bible really is profitable for every situation that the Christian faces in life. 

Please pray for us as we continue to equip women to minister to others in the midst of tragedy.  Pray that God would help us to see His hand at work even in the midst of the great tragedies of life.